| Airplane | Alcohol | America |
 | Alcohol |
| I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. | |
| probable replying to Lady Astor's comment 'Sir, you're drunk!' | |
| Alcohol (8), Ugliness (2), Drinking (4) | Winston Churchill (13) |
| I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the time he killed himself. | |
| Smoking (3), Alcohol (8), Sex (9), Healthy (1), Suicide (1), Drinking (4) | Johnny Carson (2) |
| I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. | |
| Alcohol (8) | Winston Churchill (13) |
| Pretty women make us buy beer. Ugly women make us drink beer. | |
| Beer (1), Alcohol (8), Married with Children (1) | Al Bundy (1) |
| I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. | |
| Drugs (1), Alcohol (8) | Hunter S. Thompson (1) |
| To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems! | |
| Alcohol (8), Solution (1), Life (17), Problems (3) | Homer Simpson (5) |
| When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. | |
| Alcohol (8), Reading (1), Drinking (4) | Henny Youngman (3) |
| You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. | |
| Alcohol (8), Drinking (4) | Dean Martin (1) |
| Airplane | Alcohol | America |