Doctors

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.
Doctors (5), Psychiatrists (2)Rodney Dangerfield (1)

First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
Doctors (5), News (3), Diseases (1)Steve Martin (1)

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
Doctors (5), Psychiatrists (2), Wives (7), Questions (3)Joey Adams (1)

Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.
Doctors (5), Lawyers (3), Rob (1), Kill (4)Anton Chekhov (1)

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more.
Doctors (5), Months (1), Bill (1), Time (8)Walter Matthau (1)